


It's in my Blood

by halcyonwhispers



Category: Vocaloid
Genre: Apocalypse, Attempted Rape/Non-Con, Bit of Horror, Discovery of Love, F/F, F/M, Forever, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Inspired by The Walking Dead, M/M, Molestation, Multi, POV First Person, Rin's btw, Supposed Necrophiliac, True Love, Twincest, Underage - Freeform, Walkers (Walking Dead), Zombie Apocalypse, eh, this story gets more messed up as it goes...
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-02-19
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-03-13 11:23:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 7
Words: 22,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3379712
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halcyonwhispers/pseuds/halcyonwhispers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dad used to say that when the world would end, the lawlessness would turn people into monsters. I knew what he meant, but when all of this started, I forgotten. My first thought was of the literal monsters this apocalypse created, but I was wrong. The real horrors of people are still human, still talk and walk how they used too, not those dead things that only eat. </p><p>The real monsters aren't dead. </p><p>Her white lips move, finally thinkin of something to try to convince me, but it's too late. </p><p>Dad said when the world would end, it would turn people into things, horrible things. He was always right afterall.</p><p>I pulled the trigger.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Laughing at the end of the world

“Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.”   
― Edgar Allen Poe

* * *

 

 Everyone within the tiny town of Crypton, Alabama thought my father was crazy.

Leon Kagamine wasn’t always known as the town’s loon. But he did become that after a series of reasons. My twin brother and I were 4 years old when my mother died from a rabid dog attack. The world suddenly became dangerous and horrifying, and that combined with the whole, “I have to take care of twins by myself” kinda got at him some. So he quit his job as high school principle and returned to the state of his upbringing; survivalist.

The Kagamines before my dad were ever bigger hicks then the rest of the populace and just to boot, the outcasts. When my dad met my mom, he had sworn to leave that part of his life behind, Lola was worth that, but, it still caught up to him. After she died, he become real paranoid, and it drove him to teach us what he had been forced to as a child.

That’s how my twin, Len, and I learned to fish, hunt, gather, fight, and just plain survive. We owe our dad everything. It’s the only reason we managed to live this far through the hell on earth.

See, Leon always had these… intuitions about things going on around us. One time he saw a duckling suckling on a cat and called it, “Ungodly,” before takin’ us out of school and driving two hours to Safe House 1 out in the middle of nowhere. I mean, farther from the nowhere our town was already in. So, when he showed up one day at school when we were 16, and took us to our house to get our packs, then drove the two hours away, Len and I didn’t question anything. We would stay there for a day or two, as long as my dad needed to know things were alright, then go back to normal.

As normal as one could get as a Kagamine I mean. By the time I was 8, could hunt practically anything, skin it, and cook it twelve different ways. At 10, I was skilled at knowing the land, any kind of terrain, and know how to live it on. By 13 I mastered fighting with a samurai sword, knife throwing, and guns. Len always tried his hand to bet me, adding to his bucket of knowledge what plants are good for eating and medicine. In the woods, that type of logic made sense. We had lived in the woods more than in our three bedroom house.

That place wasn’t much of a home actually. The house was just a place we usually slept in every now and then. Dad made sure we could live outside in any type of weather. The house we lived in currently was one dad bought after mom died. He couldn’t stand being in the same building where we were all happy once I guess.

With three bedrooms, there was a place for each of us. Yet from an early age, Len and I shared a room, sleeping in either in the bunk beds or slipping under the sheets together. Len was more of my best friend then my twin. I saw him as another kid stuck in the same place as I was in with Leon. He was my other half, in sense. Of course being twins and all, it made sense to think of Len like that. He shared my face and understood the pains we went through for our dad. A prime example of it was from my earliest memory; one where we’re reaching towards a women with dark eyes and hair. Len was always there.

I had no delusions; to others, Len kinda was like those freaky spirit things in stories; calm, sly, even gentle one moment, but you certainly wouldn’t want to piss it off. I was like the raging hot sun in the middle of July. I was hot tempered and impulsive, blunt. You knew what I thought right off the bat.

But between the two of us, Len was usually kinda awkward and very much a loser with a sweet side, while I was more… a bitch. Yeah.

For example, I could take a punch and return it tenfold, and Len could convince someone he didn’t need to be hit and knock them out when they tried to remember why they wanted to punch him in the first place.

One day when Len would leave this shitty town and marry some beautiful bimbo, I would screech to the wide sky above ‘cause finally, he would leave me behind for good. But I would let him go, as long as I knew things were goin’ good for him, I could deal. Hopefully.

From the womb to now, we were together, and I hoped to keep it that way for as long as I could. But the fear was always there, always stabbing at me from a corner of my brain, hissing and clawing to be noticed. It scared me how much I couldn’t stand having Len leave me. I couldn’t picture me without him. It was always either Rin and Len, the twins, or those fuckin’ Kagamine brats.

That fear was damn annoying though. Fear was never my thing. It’s a neutral being in my eyes, something that can keep you alive or get someone, usually yourself, killed. I didn’t like fear. But I pushed back on it time and time again. It was hard of a thing to do, but not even my own thoughts could push me around. I’m a Kagamine after all.  

Kids from school don’t call me boss ass bitch for nothin’. With Len supporting me, we could for sure conquer anything.

Dad on the other hand… he wasn’t much of father rather than a troop leader. He taught us, true, feed us, clothed us, sheltered us yeah, but when it came to love…

There was no doubt in my mind that the old man loved us. It was just that I wished he showed it.

In any case, our dad took the two of us out of school one afternoon in March, staying silent and moving the knob on the old radio in an effort to hear something. What exactly? I didn’t even try to listen. Len and I were whispering to one another in the back, each of us trying to keep a mask of momentousness on. Rule number 2, never let your guard down, dad could be a prick about it. He was the boss, the leader, and anything he said goes, no matter the situation.

Even as a kid I knew that, so right then, as I tried in vain to hush the giggles slipping through my mouth, I elbowed Len to get him to shut up. He was telling a hilarious story about how Miku Hatsune, an annoying older girl with a peppy voice, had asked him out, only to have Len leave her hanging because of dad’s family trip.

A foreign voiced filled the car. Dad had found his station. The man’s voice was too humdrum to focus on with this gossip running around my head though.

“Shut the hell up idiot!” I choked on my laughter only to have Len wrap an arm around me in a tight bear hug. “We both know you wouldn’t have said yes.” I snickered, seeing Len snort, muffled but loud, behind my shoulder. “No way banana brains. She’s a complete spaz. I bet you she doesn’t even know how to tie a fisherman’s knot.”

Len shrugged his shoulders, lips moving to my temple, “She’s hella hot though.” I felt my heart drop a bit and my blood flare up at that. Suddenly, I started to blush and tried to squirm out of his warm grasp.

He so shouldn’t be talkin’ to me about her like that. The chick has nothing upstairs. Looks aren’t everything. Freaking idiot. Idiot.

My head twisted away in an effort to have his soft lips gone from my skin. “You’re such a horn dog jackass!” I hissed, striking my boney elbows into his ribcage. For some reason, my whole face was consumed by fire at that point and I shifted as far as I could from him. He left me alone to sulk in a depressed heap for several minutes until finally, he touched my shoulder.

“Hey… Chill out I was joking. She’s too girly for my taste… And I don’t like girls with long hair.” I heard him say, my sapphire eyes glued to the moving landscape outside. At that last part, my lips parted, fingers reaching up to toy with my shoulder length hair. The sun’s rays from the window shone on it, as I replayed his words in my mind again.

Wondering, yet forcing myself not to look at him, I pictured that same sunlight hitting his long soft hair. It was lengthy enough that he always tied it back into a long ponytail at the nape of his head, often moving it so it was flowing over a shoulder. Not many guys could pull off long hair, I had only seen it done so perfectly with Len. Of course Len was Len though.

The bale on my tongue tasted like dirt. And I knew what dirt tasted like.

I could imagine so clearly what type of face he was making; a small smile, a shine in his eyes, and a hopeful look that his sister was finished moping. I pressed my lips closed in confusion. 

If I turned, there was no doubt I would see that face. A face so eerily similar to my own despite being different sex twins. Did he ever see the glint of pure undeniable glee in my air when we were together? How could he be so ok with just dropping me?

 An odd choke transformed into laughter.

I was defiantly being crazy. I shook my head to clear the woe of _something_ from my mind. I spun around at Len with a pout and eye roll adorning my expression. “Naw banana brains, I don’t care what girls want to get in your pants, just make sure they’re better than me.” I planted a loud smooch on his cheek, “That’s the only way I’ll have some other chick take you from me. Got it? Big sissy has to do her job.”

Len’s face went scarlet, but with embarrassment from what I was saying or the kiss, I don’t know and it bothered me. With the big sister part, he glowered at me, blush still strong, with matching dark blue eyes. “Your only 2 minutes older than me Rin!”

It was my turn to shrug then, “Not my fault you were too lazy to come out first.” I stuck my tongue at him and punched him in the shoulder hard.

“Ouch!” Len whined, rubbing at his injured joint. “Don’t blame me idiot! You must’ve pushed me out of the way!”

I gasped dramatically, loudly, “I did no-” It was too late to realize I wasn’t even pretending to look serious anymore. Len’s eyes went wide just as mine did and we both froze, looking to our dad, knowing a lecture was at hand.

But instead, we turned see dad’s dirty blonde head at the stirring wheel, his body curling over it. With closer exception, I saw his knuckles white.

Len moved over until he was behind the passenger’s seat. “Dad?” He asked in a soft voice. I stared at the radio, the man’s dull voice didn’t sound so boring now. The man was speaking firmly but sounded petrified about what he was saying.

I poked Len’s side and pointed to then radio. His gaze followed my finger until it wasn’t just his eyes paying attention. What the man on the radio was talking about…

_-peat. I repeat- I repeat- I repeat- One hour ago, I witnessed a thief getting shoot in the chest, in the fucking heart, by the police and, this guy, this dead man, just got up. I thought maybe this was just some prank. But he- the one who got shot- he attacked the police offer. He just fucking bit into his arm like it was butter._

_This is it ladies and gentlemen, the thing that I’ve been talking about for years now._

_The dead are coming back._

_I didn’t even have time to see people around me started to panic, I got out as fast as I can. I’m not saying where I am now folks, but I’m sure that the state of New York has already been lost. What other places in the world are breaking out in anarchy, I have no idea._

_I don’t even know what the percentage of humans left are. I don’t know how many people are listening to this, but I’ll go on here every day at 8, 12, and 4 o’clock to give you updates. I have some things to keep me informed._

_Stay alive._

There was no sound inside the car, only the noise of dad speeding up and turning onto a trail in the forest. My mouth hung open. What the hell was going on? Was it because of that idiot on the radio that dad took us all the way out here? I breathed out in exhaustion. At least we got our reason this time.

Dad turned the knob on the radio, getting static for a while. Len grabbed my hand and I squeezed his to give him some of my calm. Len was worried that one of these days, dad will take us out of school permanently and move to Safe House 1.

Len hated the things dad made us learn. While other kids were playing t-ball, Len was learning how to make a fire. Personally, I could care less about how I never got to play dress up.

I was bound to Crypton for all my life and I certainly wasn’t fighting that destiny. But Len… he wanted to leave for somewhere big and great. Chicago, L.A, New York, even Washington D.C., he wanted to go and make his life in one of those places. It scared me completely he was so willing to leave me behind with Crypton.

I rested back against the seat and took a deep breath. Once again a scratchy voice seeped into the car and chanted in a frightened tone about the dead coming back to life. Yet this time, she said it was happening in Montana.

_All over the country, these- these- Oh God. They’re killing everything. Jesus fuck! Ok… Ok-ok. Its total chaos out there people. Do not, I repeat, do not go outside unless you absolutely have too.  It’s not worth it. Whatever you have in mind, it’s not worth it. Stay inside, gather up all the supplies you have, any weapons, and lock the doors, fuck- Brocade the doors, nail up the windows, and make it._

The women went on talking but I had tuned her off, reaching over and twisting the knob once more until I found another station. Dad was still quiet as this new person cried out the same things happening in California. Len was gripping my hand until I was sure my blood circulation was cut off. I didn’t make a peep, the pain was numb.

“Dad… this has to be some sorta sick joke right? Dad? Daddy?” I hadn’t called him that since I was 8.

The car was speed up, and all the trees around us blurred into shades of green and brown. “Don’t panic Rin. Remember the rules girl.”

“Dad, there can’t be any- Zombies don’t exist. This is- this the real world. That- that-” Len stuttered, a fearful shadow in his voice, looking pale.

Leon stepped on the brakes and the two of us jerked forward, Len’s head banging against the back of the seat. “Shit…” He gasped, looking just as disoriented as I felt I did. Dad rotated his body to us, looking at his kids for a quick moment before getting out and motioning us to follow him. I glanced at Len before grabbing ahold of my pack and getting out. I heard Len mimic me as I listened to the soft crunch of the twigs and grass that dad made when he walked around the back of the car and opened the truck.

There was something strange about the forest. There were no birds tweaking away in oblivion. It was a bad sign; something was off.

Dad grabbed two large duffle bags from the trunk and hooked them over his shoulders. I stared at the cabin, a.k.a Safe House 1, unknowingly aware that this place would be our new home for a long time.

 The back of the small cabin was shoved against the wall of a cliff drop, naturally there from the earth, and when I looked up, the cliff a 30 foot drop was looming, sure to kill anything that fell from its height. This cabin had been in dad’s family for over 100 years, with each generation adding and remodeling it to fit their needs. Grandpa Kagamine and his 3 other brothers torn it down sometime in the ‘50s and remade it completely with each other’s help. But the war in Vietnam took the life of two of them, while the third passed out drunk, face down, in a puddle just before me and Len were born.

Only three people knew the whereabouts oh this place, and we were all standing here.

This cabin was special, about the time of reconstruction, Grandpa had the original wooden walls replaced with steel, all the work done by him and his brothers, and after they died, dad. Took the nutjob 20 years to get it done. But boy it was worth it.

The outside still looked like wood stacked up on each other but… I stalked over to the front wall, reached towards it and felt a cool metal meet my fingertips. They had the wood look like steel. It got me every time. Very cool and useful. It made it stronger and easier to defend if needed too.

I swallowed thickly, turning to spot Len peering around the woods as if something was going to spring out at him. Nothing was. Nothing was. Nothing was. I mentally recited a couple of times. Not all the way out here. There are no signs of life of the human verity out here. This teeny tiny part of the state can’t even be found on GPS.

Dad was running his hands over his jacket, until at last he pulled out of a key from his jean pocket. He inserted it in the lock and opened the door. Dad walked in and left the door ajar for us. Again I found myself glancing over at Len, this time he was milk white, and rushing over to grab my hand. Probably more out of nerves than anything else.

He wasn’t prone to grabbing my hand since we were 10, before he figured out brave boys don’t cling to their sisters, or anything for that matter.

“Rin,” He uttered under his breath, “this can’t be real right?” I felt my lungs stop mid-breath. Was this real? I wasn’t so sure of that myself. What could I say? There was defiantly something eerie out and about at the moment.

But Len looked so scared. So confused. I pulled my arms under his own and clutched his shoulders, burying my face in his shoulder. His hands creeped up onto my back. I could feel his hands on my shoulder blades.

“I don’t know Lenny.”

He pushed his head to where his check was at my temple. His voice was slow and low, “How can you be so calm? You heard all those people on the radio. Whatever this is, it’s not good. This isn’t a drill Rinny, people might get hurt.”

Then softly, he said in a hushed tone, “Stay with me. I couldn’t handle it if anything happened.” I buried myself into his shoulder, heart throbbing, meaning to answer that I would never leave, that I would rather die. However, before I could someone spoke up first.

“Rin’s right boy. All you we have to do is make it through this thing. It’s the only thing we know and can do. I’ll be damned if the 11 years I spent training you two was worth shit.” We separated quickly at the sound of dad’s voice. Len stepped back a couple of feet, like our dad just caught us doing something we shouldn’t.

 I cocked a hip, eyed dad, and let my nails bite into the softness of my forearms, both annoyed that I was wound up at dad interrupting us and for stepping away too quickly too.

Eyes moving to sneak a peek at Len, I reasoned with myself that he stepped away ‘cause we were showing weakness in front of dad and the macho man in him couldn’t bear to let that happen. Couldn’t bear to have his twin sister cuddle him. Yeah, that must’ve been it. It was the only reason. We weren’t doing anything. It didn’t- couldn’t- mean anything.

It hurt bitterly because I thought it did.

Dad’s eyes rotated about the wood then gestured to come inside. He to lead us into the cabin, and despite what happed prior, I snatched Len’s hand, we didn’t do anything wrong. Len’s eyes shifted towards me then our hands, and that’s how we entered, hand in hand. “Len,” I watched his eyes, noticing the long blonde lashes he had, “We’ll get through this.” I saw his eyes hold a smooth coating behind the blonde fringe of his bangs. I closed the door behind with my other hand just as dad spoke.

“Quiet your yapping and sit down.” Dad courtly said.  Len slipped out of my hand to squeeze into a spot on the floor.

I brushed away a feeling dusting my chest and took a quick glance around the place, thinking how the three of us will live in here. It was tiny, with a book shelf placed snuggly between a desk with a four computer monitors and a wide door; the closet which contained half of the weapon and ammo. A small opening to my left showed the door which lead to the narrow staircase heading to the living quarters. Inside the basement was a tiny bathroom, a military style bunk beds, and a solar powered kitchen stove, the food supply, and the rest of the artillery.

And unknown to my male relatives, a large shoe box filled with board games, card games, and non-boring books unlike the ones kept up here.

 I looked back at dad to see him staring at me. “Rin. Sit.” Separate sentences. This was serious.

I sat down on the floor next to Len since dad had occupied the desk chair. Next to me, Len had his hands clasped together, watching dad with an expression he shared with me when I was frustrated. It was one that strained to stay calm, but the telltale sign of irritation was the twitch in the eye.

_Twitch_

I almost smirked when I caught it.

“Rin, Len, those things said on the radio were true.” One sentence had me narrowed eyed and frowning. Was this really true? Did dad finally lose it? But how could all those people be acting like that? So many questions I knew I couldn’t ask until the old man finished. “I was in Envy Hospital, getting some advice from one of the doctors when I saw something unearthly.” There was nothing special about dad being in the town over but what peeked his paranoia?  “They were wheeling in a crash victim, the nurse was on top of the man, pounding into his chest. I knew though, nothing can lose that much blood and live.”

Dad slowly stared us in the eye, first me then Len. I felt like a kid again, listening to dad’s stories. He told them like a king to his court. In a way, that it was.

“He stopped breathing right there in the hallway. They were taking the time of death when it _moved_. The nurse was in shocked. She felt its pulse again, and she looked like the world fell on her. That thing was dead. It opened its mouth, real slow like, and let out a small gurgle, like what you do with mouthwash. What happened next went by too fast to say what exactly took place.”

He rubbed his leather hands over his face. “But there was blood, and screaming everywhere. I got out without stopping. I also broke the speed limit and made it to Crypton in 10 minutes instead of 30.”

Leon stared at the floor for a moment.

“If you’re are careful with it, there’s enough food in here to keep you two well feed for a year. I’m sure none of these things will creep up this far for at least a month, maybe two if my luck is any good. The solar panels on the roof should keep you with enough energy, they have a specific color so no aircraft can spot this place from the skies.” Dad slide his hands across his face until his fingers were clutching at his shaggy blonde hair. His palms hide his baby blues away from us, seeming to pick off the mental check list.

Without looking at him, I could hear Len grind his teeth together in anger. Why was dad talking like that? As if he’s leaving? “Dad, where are you going?” Len stole the question from my mind.

Leon signed, like the question was too complicated for his children to understand. “Remember your aunt Gumi?”

“Gumi?” I echoed, very confused. Gumi wasn’t an actual relative, but she was practically a younger sister to mom. Her family were the town mechanics, everyone with her last name stayed in Crypton to fix up cars or air conditioners. Though, Gumi had unfortunately taken up on our dad’s lifestyle, luckily, the young 20something had no children to torture. “What the hell does she have to do with you leaving us?!” I snapped.

“We promised a long time ago, if something happened to the world, we would met up and head east to D.C and try to get intel on whatever the hell is happening. The capital is where the party is and I’m joining it.” I don’t know what was crazier- dad talking about splitting up, or that stupid comparison he just made.

“Dad you don’t even know what going on out there, much less if Gumi is actually going to be there!” Len’s voiced dipped at her name. He always did have that annoying little crush on her.

“Len’s right dad. We don’t know what’s happening now. What about the rules dad? Don’t tell me you forgot them!?” I ridiculed with bite in my voice. “Rule number 1: Don’t trust anyone. Rule number 2: Never let your guard down,”

“Rule number 3: Always be aware of your surroundings,” Len continued, and I felt pleasure that he was backing me up, “Rule number 4: Don’t let your emotions overpower you. Rule number 5: Stay alive. And right now, staying alive means staying together.”  Len didn’t look at me, but I felt him move ever so slightly closer, his way to show support.

“This isn’t up for debate. This also isn’t a damn democracy, it’s me saying what goes and what doesn’t. I’m leaving right now, and I’m taking the car.”

I couldn’t take this bull anymore. The man just drove two hours nonstop and he was planning on going out into God knows what? But as I made my point painfully clear, adding in some strong adjectives, he gave me a look that shut me up. That looked was burned into my Ruined Childhood folder as _Don’t fuck with me girl_ face. “Dad,” Len jumped between up, shielding me from the look with his body. I stared at his back with blurred eyes.

“You can’t leave us daddy.” I whispered it so gently, it shocked me that I was able to make out the words.

I felt someone come and wrap their arms around me to pull me into my father. I was squished next to Len, only allowed small breaths every now and then. I sobbed faintly into dad’s chest, dimly hearing Len’s own cries. Dad kissed my forehead then Len’s. “I lost your mother because I couldn’t do anything. This is too dangerous, I can’t lose you two either. Len, Rin, both of you are the only reason why I’m still alive. I taught you everything I know for this sole moment. So you could take care of yourselves and each other when I’m not here.”

I blinked away the tears pouring from my eyes because I must’ve be seeing things. Dad, Leon Kagamine, was crying.

“I know that I don’t say this often, but I love you guys. My babies, I love you.” He hugged us tight once more, and I inhaled the scent of my father, a mixture of pine from the trees around town and grass.

After minutes that felt like seconds, he released us, reaching into his jacket pocket and withdrawing something. Two thin gold chains spilled from his hand, one with a G-clef symbol and the other with an F-clef. “Your mama was a great singer, she was going to give these to you on your 18th birthday, but… I don’t know what may happen, but I want you both to have this now. I need you guys to stay strong for me and yourselves until I see you again. Alright shortstacks?” Len rubbed the wetness from his eyes and cheeks, obviously wanting to leave his own memory in our father.

I, however, left my tear stained cheeks alone, refusing to wipe my feelings. “Rin,” Dad regarded at me with some tired glint in his eye, clasping the g-clef necklace around my neck, “don’t be so hardheaded and listen to the advice your brother has to give. He’s so much stronger then you think.” His eyes hold mine for what felt the longest time, and I found myself wondering for the first time, if my mother’s eyes would’ve held the same fire in them.

He looked at Len.

“You know she’s reckless, and it’s dangerous, be her rock and keep her grounded. Don’t hesitated to spill blood if something threatens you or her. ” He repeated the process with the necklace, this time the f-clef one with Len, then clasped his son’s shoulder. I could see the wrinkles were dad’s fingers were digging into the blue cotton.

After his last miserable words of wisdom, I leaned back against a wall, my arms crossed, and watched dad shift things out and into his duffle bags. Once done, he made his way back out the door, pausing one more time to say, “If this place does down, you know where to go.” Len mumbled a low reply right before Leon Kagamine, the bastard himself, walked out of our lives.

Neither one of us knew what to do with ourselves at that time. I bolted the door with all five of its locks and sat down, beginning several months of a nightmare.

It didn’t start off like a bad dream though. The first couple of days didn’t.

 


	2. I can do good on my own

"We make up horrors to help us cope with the real ones." 

― Stephen King

* * *

Life after dad left wasn't actually so bad. Things were quiet for quite a few days. It all almost felt like a joke. I even thought to myself what if this was actually a test dad and those guys on the radio put on for us.

But as crazy as dad was, did he even know that many people to help rag on his kids? He was the most antisocial person I had ever known. How he was before crazy took over him, I would never know. But despite my doubts, I knew there  _was_  something amiss going on. Nevertheless we continued on doing what we had been raised to do.

Len and I ventured outside time again and again to hunt squirrels, birds, and the occasional rabbit when the little shits were too slow. We took turns hunting, but I usually held the role since when it came to gathering plants and all that, I knew squat.

But it all was just an excuse to leave the cabin for a breather.

I didn't want to eat the package food in storage. We needed to excise. Len needed to practice the skills in case he forget something. I saw a fat Peter Cottontail hop along, let's go see how far we can track it. It was breaking half the rules and being completely reckless. But.

Let's just  _go_.

"Makes you wish you paid more attention when dad had a lesson 'bout plants and not just acting like you knew shit, uh?" Len gloated, popping a berry into his mouth.

"Fuck you Len. Don't be jealous of my skills son." I taunted right back at him, carrying a pair of fat birds. I waved the dead fowls at him, causing the dweeb to sneer and push me away. As I snorted over my giggles, I staggered back bit.

Nothing had changed from before. This all simply felt like another trip to Safe House 1. Dad never stayed close by before either. He liked to observe us from a distance, seeing the mistakes we made and telling us later what we did and how to improve. The first time we couldn't play pretend was when something we heard on Week 1.

It was late afternoon, with the sun barely starting to bleed a faded red-orange, and we were returning from the creek a mile away, one hand holding on to each other and the other clasping a gallon of water to boil in the cabin. I had a habit of wondering around when I thought things got boring, so Len took my hand to keep me from doing so.

I forced myself to ignore how giddy it felt to hold his hand, or how my heart constricted ever so slightly whenever it did. Being like this made me feel as if everything was right in the world. I felt safe knowing he was right there.

The hand clasped tightly with Len's wondered toward the three knifes attached to the belt I was wearing, a reminder that this wasn't the time to get weird. I glanced down at hand gun in the holster at my leg then at Len with his casing of arrows to go with the bow on his shoulder. It was a set rule that we never left the cabin without packing heat.

Everything's ok, I had thought. We're going to be ok. Things will be ok.

I was swung our clasped hands happily, hearing the swishing of the water in the jug and the thudding noise of our necklaces against our skin, but my cheery mood fell when I saw Len's face. It was distant and submerged in his own thoughts. I was great at telling his moods, and on closer inspection, I saw his brows drawn together in worry.

"Hey bro-face, what's with that look?" I bumped my hip into his, tightening my grip on his hand when he stumbled to the side. He really wasn't paying attention…

Swinging the jug of water at him his stomach, I sneered at his shocked expression after I slammed him with the heavy gallon, "Pray tell, little brother, what are Rules number 2 and 3?" I batted my lashes and asked sweetly.

He grunted, not using the hand clasped in mine to put sooth his sore stomach, and instead using the one with the jug. "I know what the stupid rules are Rin!" He snapped, making my smile only grow before smacking him once more. "Ow Rin! Stop! Stop!" He tried to escape by wrestling his hand out of mine, but I was having none of that. I squeezed his hand hard, knowing exactly how much he could take before bitching.

"Rules baby bro?"

"Don't let your guard down! Always be aware of your surroundings!" Len moaned, finally forcing his captured hand from my mercy.

"He knows! Praise the Lord!" I raised my hand and the jug to the sky.

"Shut up. I was just thinking. Not like I wasn't paying attention."

"Len, you weren't paying attention, you probably owe attention a buttload of money by now." I snickered at my awesome joke. "What was on your mind then banana brain?" I went on walking, unaware that he had stopped.

"I was thinking about dad." When he spoke, it was from behind me and I looked back to see his eyes on the woods around us. I turned to him slowly, feeling a stone in my gut. I knew I wasn't the only one thinking about him. I heard a bird singing in the trees to my right. We should be by the cabin. Five minutes away. Tops. "Do you think he met up with Gumi? Do you think they're safe and in Washington?" The gaze in his eyes was old and deep. It scared me when I saw that on his expression. It looked so much like dad's…

Len may be the logical twin, but I was the stronger one. My emotional sack could take ten times the beatings that Len's could. So I said what was needed to be said.

"Len. This is Leon Kagamine. The man who threw us in the deep end of a river for our first swimming lesson. Leon Kagmine eats nails and craps out bullets man. No dead zombie thing is gonna kill that." I assured him, trying to do the same for me along the way.

My twin stared at me, making a chill race down my back. It really did startle me when he looked at me with those fathomable blue orbs. The shade may have been a different one from dad, but the same air was still there.

One of the dying streams of sunlight parted through the treetops, making spots of shadow and light fall on us. It shined down on Len's blonde hair, highlighting the darker golden color it had. It gave a twinkle to the golden music symbol on his neck. Our skin had always been a peachy tint, being naturally pale and smearing globs of sunscreen hardly anything to prevent the sun's kisses when we lived outside most of our lives. I ponder if our skin would get dark, if it would stay the same tone as each other's.

At that second, under the light, I saw my twin brother, and in spite of this knowledge, I thought I was looking at the one man who held my heart bloody and raw in the palm of his hand.

I blinked. I was thrown out of my head at the notice of a light stream cutting across my eyes. I come too to see Len's Leon stare having transformed into something I couldn't pick apart. There were too many emotions stitched into that one look to name. This bugged the hell outta me. I prided in my ability to nit-pick Len's inner persona with ease. My lips pursed, nose wrinkling, and I was ready to force it out of him.

Lips parted to question him directly when a scream exploded from a distance. It was so faint of a cry that it could've easily been the wind or some type of animal far away. Expect there was no wind that day and I had never heard an animal sound so… hideously human.

We didn't risk it. We didn't waste a movement. Dropping the jugs of creek water, Len shoved me in front of him as we run, reaching for our weapons. Gun and arrow were at the ready. We dashed quickly to the cabin, Len covered me as I turned my back to him and the forest to open the damn lock on the door.

"Fuck. Fuck. Fuck." Hissing like a snake, I was shamed to see the slight tremble in my hands when I couldn't stick the  _fucking_   _key_   _in_.

Len must've seen or sensed my struggled because he was consoling me in a deathly calm voice. "Don't let your emotion over take you, Rule 4 Rinny." The screams grew in multitudes from the distance. They could sounded so far away, the small valleys in the area must echo.

I didn't stop to freaking think about the why. Taking ahold of my emotions, I shoved in the key and reached backwards to take Len's wrist to pull him in.

We collapsed in a pile of limbs just inside the entrance. It was a mighty miracle that Len's arrows hadn't stabbed anyone. Those things could cut into flesh like a knife in jelly.

Len panted, getting up onto his knees to lock the door. He pushed off the bow around his shoulders feverishly. It was too cramped in here for that to do any good. He fell back into my arms, a hand landing on my hip.

My breathing intensified. But not by his hand. My logical side, the one screaming at me about the danger, yeah that one, was panic stricken beyond belief.

So when I felt Len slip a knife from my belt and rolled over to sit up, dragging me along with him, until our backs hit the opposite wall, I didn't blinking an eye. Our hands held the daggers in front of us, prepared to fight even though nothing short of a bomb could take down that door.

Six inches of solid steel did that sorta thing.

Sitting there, the minutes felt like years, and once when I was positive nothing was going to happen, I heard it.

Tiny, tiny popping sounds from far far outside the steel walls of Safe House 1. Len held on to me for all he's worth, because he knew what I did. Those were bullets. I pressed closer to Len, wondering what the hell was going on out there. Swiftly, my memory remembered the words those people were saying on the radio.

"It's finally here…" Len whispered in my ear, and I shuttered at how eerie he said it.

It hit me there that he believed this all along. He had made it seem like this was a just another survival trip. Len believed whole heartedly that this… this apocalypse was real.

"Len… you stupid idiot." I whimpered silently. "Why didn't you tell me?" My own doubts kept me blind, and in a world where sight increases your chances at living, I didn't have much of one to start with.

My twin, my best friend, rested his head on my shoulder as if the weight of the earth hung on his shoulders. "I wanted you to pretend." His voice shook and I felt his arms enveloped my waist.

"That's not how its suppose to work." I heard myself mumble.

There we stayed rooted and heard the faint racket of guns firing for a couple of more minutes. Then there was nothing and we somehow dragged ourselves back into the living quarters because when morning came, we were in each other's arms on the wooden floor.

Pretending was over for me. Len was an idiot for thinking he could spare me from whatever Armageddon was occurring. Dad knew what he was talking about for sure, Len was my rock. But I still needed to keep him safe. Yet how could I when he was doing the same damn thing?

I promised myself as drifted off to sleep that when I woke up later that day, I will keep us alive, no matter what cost.

In the morning, Len's movement next to me felt calming. I looked down at him for a moment, deciding if I should get up now or just wait for his stupid wristwatch alarm to announce it was time to get up.

In the end I got up, detaching his arms from my body, I stretched my own limbs over my head. I tiptoed around his form and reached over to my pack to yank out some new clothes before moving into the tiny bathroom by the stairs.

The floor in there was tile and right in the middle, the drainage hole was location. The only thing in there was a toilet, a wash basin, and a shower head. I dumped my clothes in the sink after pulling a small compact out of it, opening it to see a fatigued expression on my face. It was hard to sleep last night.

I kept thinking about what was outside the safely of the walls. What kind of creatures were roaming the streets I grew up on and what kind of monsters people turning into because of it.

My heart never felt heavier than right then.

Signing, I closed the compact, putting it on top of the toilet, and splashed some cool water onto my face. After I was done, I rested my elbows against the sink, starting into the basin with an equally heavy expression. I should consider us lucky that we hadn't seen any of the monsters. What did they look like? Would I be able to smell them before they came at me? Would they hesitate to get me? Did they still have a tiny shred of humanity in them to so that?

"Rin?" Len said, muffled by the door.

I pushed off the sink, opening the door and peered over to see him sitting up groggily. He rubbed his eyes with a fist, with the hand still holding my knife. I mumbled a hello, closing the door again to lock myself in. I had to finish changing and doing my business.

Outside the bathroom, I heard Len move around.

I got out of the bathroom to catch him sitting on the bed, toying with a hand radio. From what I was hearing, the only thing he was getting was static. The echo of the trip over here hummed through my ears weakly.

He looked up to me with sleepy eyes. Once they saw my new clothes, the tiredness in them slipped out and became replaced with confusion. We didn't change clothes often. This situation didn't really call for it. We both stayed in loose fitting cargo pants, thick boots, two layers of ill-fitting shirts due to the chilly March air, and a warm jacket.

He saw my stare and made a face. "I want to go get those jugs we left behind and get some more supplies when the sun comes up." I said as if it meant nothing.

His mouth twisted at hearing this. "You don't need to go anywhere. After last night, whatever's out there is on the move, and it's getting a lot closer to us. We should bunk down for a couple of days and then go out only when we have to. This is why dad chose this place in the at all. Anyways, we shouldn't have been going outside all those times before. We were being stupid."

I groaned, afraid a conversation like this would pop up. "Which is exactly why we need to go out know and restock on supplies before we bunk down. But I don't even know why we should. We can't be afraid of going out Len. It's gonna make us crazy if we do."

"Rin!" He retorted, "Are you serious?! 'We can't be afraid?' That bullshit and you know it. Fear keeps you alive and that's our goal right now so sit the fuck down."

"And do what?! Wait around for something to come and eat us?" I waved my old clothes around my in fists. I angled my hip, resting the bundle of clothes on the outstretched curve of my waist. "Now there's a load of bull."

Len groaned, slapping down the small radio on the miniature nightstand next to the bottom bed. "We can't argue about this Rin. Just- just stay in here and don't go." He tried to convince me, a false lightheartedness creeping into his voice. I couldn't believe the crap Len was spewing right now. It was the voice he use when trying to get people to see his way. I didn't know how he managed it, but my brother was darn good at that.

Golden boy Len probably get half the girls, and some guys, in our town to fall at his feet with that dreamy tone and shining glint in his eyes, but I wasn't so expendable.

"You can come with now or I'll leave without you later." I made my last stand. He knew I wasn't bluffing. We needed to do this, and if he was being difficult about it, fine. I could do good well on my own.

My words hung in the air for the longest time. I thought he was going to snap at me, tell me to go if I thought it like that. But he didn't.

The next thing out of his mouth was something short and cool. "Would you like it if I left?" No I would tie him down for even thinking that he could leave without me.

Hypocrite. My mind growled to me, forlorn and bitchin'.

As if hearing the thought, Len signed in relief. He could read me almost as well as I could him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: And there's chapter 2 folks. Enjoy the fast updates. I'm sure after a month or two, they'll die down fast.
> 
> Leave me kudos and stuff 'cause I love it! Pleaseeee


	3. Shit ‘n Giggles

“Everybody is a book of blood; wherever we're opened, we're red.”   
― Clive Barker 

* * *

__

We didn’t leave the cabin for almost four weeks. But even with Len’s worries, whenever I was on monitor duty, I would press my ear against the dark window of Safe House 1. Curiosity and wonder of the outside making me do it. Regrettably, the only things I managed to hear were the rush of tree leaves on windy days. But every now and then, inhuman cries of agony made their way to me, and after hearing it the second time, I stopped.

Fear was a delicate thing. It could make someone its bitch and make that person completely useless, or it could drive one to make it. Len remembered that lesson from dad.

Dad.

I missed him and I didn’t know why. He was never around before. I didn’t even miss him the first couple of weeks. But now… this was real. That meant dad could be shoot dead by some fucker out there. Maybe that was the easiest way to go according to the screams. I wondered if he found Gumi and the two were on their way to Washington. I knew he couldn’t get out a broadcast to us, yet I wished wholeheartedly that he could somehow find a way to.

I knew Len thought the same. That was the reason he developed a small obsession with the radio. He wanted to know just as much as I did if our only parent was still alive.

I could hear the static from downstairs from my perch at the desk chair. I was tempted to call Len up here with he just so we could talk, but I knew that we each needed time for ourselves. Dad made sure we knew how not to go complete batshit crazy if the world ended one day.

Disaster makes men into monsters. I recalled him lecturing one day. “…mon…sters…” The texture of the word in my mouth left me irrigated. Did people become monsters or were they already like that and just given their chance for mayhem?

The static had taken a pause. I looked over from the monitors to Len in the stairway.

“No luck?” I finally questioned. We both knew what he was doing with it so why not say it?

He shook his head, appearing sleepy. It was windy last night, and even from the basement, the air hitting the walls of the cabin made us both jerk in our sleep. I didn’t get too much rest either. I’m sure I wore identical circles under my eyes.

“We have to get more sleep Len.” The restless nights was horrible for our stamina and repetition.

My twin ran a hand through his bangs, tugging them away for a moment before they fell back in disorder. His long hair was in a high ponytail that day.

The minute I grew too bored, I rearranged Len’s hair from its place at his neck to the back of his head. It was getting longer, we should make time to get it cut soon. Long hair doesn’t help when you’re trying to get away from something.

“We’re low on water.” He pushed my off my thoughts of hair and discarded my statement with one of his own.

I gazed at him, a deep breath hanging in my lungs. It bothered me that he was bringing up a problem to cover another.

But he did have a point. Our water supply was connected to a deep well three miles away. The only problem with it was on certain years, it would dry up dangerously low. It was random. However, that was why the creek 15 minutes away made for an amazing alternative for it. Even with the need to boil the water.

“So?”

“So I’m saying it’s time we go get some.” I straightened up from my slouching shape.

“Seriously?”

“Yeah, we have to hunt some things while at it too. The food we have will only last if we’re careful. We need to get more.”

There was a question on my tongue that he saw through even before I said anything.

“We can go as soon as we’re ready. Bring a dagger along with your sword.” He said, walking to the weapon closet besides me and unlocking it with a key attached to the chain from the necklace dad gave him.

“Sword?” Asking, I raked my stare over him.

“When I was up here, I saw something you would like.” He reached in to pull out something.

My curiosity peeked and I moved the closet door, revealing Len holding a Japanese style samurai sheath. It was the same one that disappeared from my possession last year, my favorite one with an orange handle shooting up from the top.

“No way.”

“Yeah way. Don’t just sit there.” He didn’t need to tell me twice. I reached out to it and cradled it maternally in my arms.

“Yesss…..” I grinned, stroking it with visions of everything I could be capable of with it in my possession. I started to say something when I figured out we would need something to hold the weeds. So, quick as a cat, I pulled out the bag used to collect plants from the desk drawer. “Alright, I’m ready to go-” Hands moved to take ahold of my shoulders, Len held me in a strong grip, making sure I was in his line of vision, and not going to get distracted.

“Don’t be reckless alright.” Len’s dark blue eyes bore into mine. He unexpectedly hugged me just as strong as before. It was like that first day, and without thinking about, I leaned up and made to kiss his check, meaning to say my reply without words, but instead I missed when my tiptoed feet slipped, and touched the corner of his mouth with my lips.

My breath was uneven, ready to shed away in embarrassment when I know I shouldn’t. We’re twins. It’s ok. Ok. Nonetheless, even with the thought in my brain, I grew crimson, backing away. We used to kiss on the lips all the time as brats, but we were just that- children. No one saw anything odd about little 5 year olds giggling and smooching each other every so often just for the heck of it.

But we weren’t 5.

Len shifted backwards, mirroring my movements. His looked flustered, and it was like looking at a masculine reflection. His mouth opened and closed, but like always, he knew what to say and do.

My brother punched my shoulder.

I knew it was a safely blanket. One I wouldn’t have thought to use.

When rude rumors of the two of us repopulating the Kagamine family in the fifth grade started to pop up, I didn’t give a rat’s ass about what the rest of the hicks had to say. There had to be at least one incestuous branch in their family tree, it was the backwater town of Crypton after all, but I knew that Len would be mortified. So I stopped touching him all together when we were in front of others. No more games of tag, stuffing food in his face, hugs, hand holding, gentle kisses on checks. In their place I hit his shoulder to show affection, to somehow tell him I wanted be there, just not in the way people ridiculed us about. Len caught up right away and followed my lead until the day came his manipulation of people can into play and he somehow made everything like how it was before.

I don’t know how he did it back then, but I never heard anyone jeer again. The punching kinda stuck though, especially when we became older.

Len’s blush faded impossibly quickly, and his eyes didn’t wonder around like when he lied to me. It was like he transformed into something else from a second ago. “Don’t act like a freak Rin,” He laughed, shoulders shaking slightly like it really got to him.

But then I knew what was happening; he was lying to me. He was really good at doing that to other people, of making others see things his way. And yeah he’s lied to me before, but he lied to me as Len, not this man with power. He had never lied to me like this; full blown manipulation, like I was a stranger who needed to be lied to to have order. It had my chest aching.

The heart on his palm oozed runny blood. It was alright though. I would play this game too. If he wanted me to. He was right. It was weird. I was weird. The thoughts I had were weird. Yet, I couldn’t stop them. Why couldn’t I just stop? But to hide that, I could try my hand at following his lead.

I tied the sword to my left side, puckering my lips at him hopefully in a comical manner. “Alright banana brain, just don’t come crying to me when you want me to kiss your booboos,” His smile brighten gradually, coming back into my Len. He was happy I played along.

I hated it.

He told me to wait a second and headed back into the basement. Len came back with bow and arrows.

Soon enough, we were walking out.

The forest was quiet expect for the buzz of insects in the atmosphere. The Rules were burned into the walls of my head as I gathered some common plants Len described to me for medical purposes. This job sucked fuck because the leaves had a tendency to ooze green shit reeking juice when I pulled to them out too roughly and broke them. I had a feeling that Len knew exactly what he was doing to me.

I got real tired, real quick on have green ick on my hands, so I pulled out my dagger, cutting the steams with it. I shoved the foul-smelling bundles into the small bag I had at my waist. A jug of murky creek water was at my side. Damn you Len… The smell would probably stay on my hands. It smelt like rotten eggs.

He had on a sly smile when he explained this to me. Who knows if this even is for “medical purposes”.

Little shit.

However, besides that, my life was downright jolly. The samurai sword I dubbed Bunny was at my hip, the handle bumping into my ribs if I moved in the right way. The motion was relaxing to me. At last I was given my chosen weapon to defend and attack with.

The area around us was good. We hadn’t seen anything out of the ordinary and there were no apparent scream hunting the surrounding zone for our fright. I had started to believe nothing was going to happen, not that day at least.

SWOOSH

An arrow fell by somewhere to my left, and I was aware even without looking, that Len just caught his fourth bird. That brought the grand total to a decent number of eight.

“And the crowd goes wild from the golden boy himself, Len Kagamine!” I whispered loudly in a husky mockery of a stadium newscaster. I plucked more leaves at his slow chuckle.

“Don’t fight the funny Len. Let it consume you…. Ohhhh….” I taunted, waiting to hear him telling me to either shut up or snort.

“Can’t you be serious for once?” There, in the deep cavern of his tone, was smeared a teeny tiny bit of mirth.

“Nice. I got both.” I muttered under my breath, wobbling to the next bush on my knees.

“What?”

“I said, you nosy little shit, that next time you’re going to be the one on your knees doing this shit. I’m a lady if you hadn’t noticed. I’m not ‘posed to be working this hard.”

This time, the smile was showing clearly in his voice. “Trust me on this sis, you’re no lady.” I should’ve snicker at his retort and punched back with something else. Yet, somewhere deep and disgustingly weak and fragile flinched at the remark.

It didn’t matter.

I told myself. So who cares you aren’t a girl to him. You aren’t supposed to be. If none of this happened, you would only be that; his bitchy older sister. It doesn’t matter Rin. You know why it doesn’t matter? Because it the freaking end of the world and how in their right mind as time for that.

That? What was that?

The last part had my jaw clutching, teeth clicked, and hand jerking swiftly in and out of the smelly bush. What the hell am I thinking?

A small voice whispered in my mind. You never know when something might happen.

What? What might happen? I asked myself. However, for fuck’s sake, I couldn’t tell what.

I ripped the leaves out that time, causing my finger to get struck by one of the rough branches. I spat out a swear and heard Len wonder over to me, his game tied together with some rope.

“Crap. You ok?” He looked over my shoulder to see what damage there was. I stuck the cut in my mouth, and immediately grimaced, pulling out my finger and spitting the disgusting flavor of the shit smelling leaves.

“Nothing’s wrong. Go over there. Shoot at tree or something.” I spoke, bringing back spit to toss out of my mouth. Len only had to look at my tense back to know I wasn’t in a talking mood. I didn’t know what was going on through my mind and I couldn’t take it.

The feeling was weak and idiotic.

I almost could see the annoyance past through his eyes at this. He may be good at reading me, but he wasn’t great. I made sure of that. He walked away some yards until his footsteps were somewhat faint and I had some space to stand without seeing him getting upset about my rapid mood change.

He cared so much about, like any good brother would about their sister. That’s what stung me the most me. I- I couldn’t place what the feeling going through me was.

“We only live once…” I murmured, feeling as if the words gave me an excuse to do or not to do. I had to keep being strong. Even if it hurt me. Len’s happiness meant more than mine, even when I let my emotions snap at him. When he came back, I would do something that only happened once in a blue moon. Apologize.  

My mind was made up. There was a rustle of the grass and I wiped my hands on my pants, ready to say my sorry, “Did you shoot that tree- Agrh…..!” The air was sucked from my lungs, a car’s weight was slammed onto my chest, and a sickening nauseas drew from my stomach, making me gag powerfully in both terror and repulsion.

“Rin?’Len’s voice sounded so distant, it was in another world altogether. Far far far from this spot I was in.

A thin women-like being staggered towards me, but this thing, this- this creature, it wasn’t a women. Half her face was torn away, the bloody red muscle was seen through what little flesh was left over. Both her eyes were a milky white, seemly blind yet she continued on in my direction with the horrendous snapping of her teeth. Her yellow and speckled red teeth.

The thing stretched its blotchy gray arms at me, fingers broken in every direction, twitching to get ahold of me. Preparing to hurt. To kill. To end.

Further away… there was a faded bellow of, “Rin!” but it was a non-exist to me. Len wasn’t here.


	4. Wake me up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter. Sorry

“Alone. Yes, that's the key word, the most awful word in the English tongue. Murder doesn't hold a candle to it and hell is only a poor synonym.”- Stephen King

* * *

 

Almost immediately we saw a Walker moping around by the trees in front of Safe House 1. At seeing us, it moaned, swaying in a way that reminded me of the drunks back in town. I said I got it and pulled the dagger from my belt and reached a hand to take it by the throat. This Walker had a gap missing from his cheek, probably the cause to the result I see before right then. The skin at its throat felt papery thin but also leather like. It was a disgusting impression that made me wish I had layers of gloves on.

It groaned, and tried to claw at me through my thick long sleeved sweater, something I specially wore thanks to guys like him. I quickly slide the knife into its head, in and out, and wiped the blood on a nearby tree trunk. I thought it was hilarious that this almost seemed like nothing. The first time had me pissing myself and now, I don’t think twice.

I heard a new gurgled grumble from somewhere and there I saw another Walker, but what I eyes caught made me hold my breath.

 It was a little boy. He wore a torn up blood stained baseball uniform and was missing a cleat. The little creature limped in his leg where I saw a blood dried spot. It sounded like he almost growled, snarling to reach up. He looked like his brown hair could’ve been shiny once. I think he was the first child I’d seen like- like a monster. Even after months of this going on, I still hadn’t seen it all.

Len walked up to him, taking his weapon form its hoister, and with one swing of his machete, got rid of him- it.

He didn’t say anything even though we were both thinking it. How many children did this happen too?  

We talked to each other in low voices, careful not to attract anything else and kept one another calm. We got to the berry bush and Len grabbed at the small black berries in the rounded shrub. I stood by, attentive and at the ready. Len finished up quickly and I kept my hand on the dagger in my hand.

“I wouldn’t forget you either.” I said suddenly.

Len rearranged the berry filled bag around his shoulders. “I know you wouldn’t.” I scoffed at that.

“What makes you sound so confident?” I had to ask.

“I know you love me too much to ever forget.”

Face turning slightly red, I stole a look at him and found him grinning, a smug look on there. I pursed my lips in slight interest and narrowed my eyes mockingly. “Cheeky aren’t you brat?”  He went on grinning, eyes landing on mine, allowing me to glimpse at something deep. “You’re stuck with me loser so you better hope I do.” I said snootily.

We stayed talking about things. Stupid things, funny things, things we never shared with each other out loud before.

“When we were kids, like in the first grade or something, I was really jealous that you had a crush on Gumi.” I confessed to my twin. I might’ve twisted the truth on that a tiny bit. I was still overcome by the green-eyed monster whenever Len brought her up in a too cheery tone.

 Len cackled, a hand coming up to smother the laughter before it could echo around too much. I shoved him for his actions, strutting ahead with powerful stomps.

He called out to me to hold up but I shoved my nose in the air and continued on in my swaggering stomping. He was still reverberating with small giggles when he caught up to me. “It’s just so- I knew that you were Rinny.” My brother put an arm around my shoulders and for the time being, I pretended we were just two teenagers out in the woods. “But like- Gumi is like- really cute. Come on, I was a 6 years old crushing on an older women. You can’t blame me. I bet you were ‘in love’,” He scratched the air with his index and middle finger, “with someone.”

“I only wanted to be with you.”

I said it in a sighing manner, and I felt soft lips land on my cheek. My eyes went wide and my lips parted in the shock. The breath in me was put on hold, along with my heart, by the occurrence on my face. When I looked back at him, I saw his normally klutzy gaze boring into mine and a shy smile on his soft lips. The whole look was so much like Len. Like Len from before, free from the worries this new life placed on us. He only ever showed this face, his true face, to me. I felt my heart skip a beat. The light breeze stopped at once, the birds froze mid-flight. The experience was dream-like and beautiful. There wasn’t anything other than Len at that moment. I heard a song from somewhere, some place long gone and lost, whispering lyrics into my ear, “ _…Keep smiling through, like you always do, ‘Til the blue skies drive the dark clouds far away…”_ I stared at Len with large sapphire eyes. My heart filled up with something completely foreign yet familiar. I didn’t know what to do with myself.

I saw myself leaning to him, and placing a kiss on his lips like last time, but there wasn’t any innocent thinking behind it this instant. I wanted to close my eyes and enjoy the feeling of warmth spreading through my limbs, giving me life. Because this was _Len,_ only because it was _my_ _Len_ who could have me feeling like I was _alive_ -

I shed away from him, shame making me sick. My heart restarted with a punch. He called out my name but I didn’t reply. I was shaking at what I just thought. I felt his cool fingertips brush my hand and I flinched at the contact. He looked hurt at that and in turn, made me feel like an even bigger bitch then what I was.

“No- Nothing. I- I thought I saw something.” Lie better Rin. _Please_. 

Len wasn’t buying it. He tried to overturn the offended expression on his face. “Rin Kagamine, what the hell-” The sentence was cut short. His eyes caught on to something behind me and when his hand grabbed onto my wrist forcefully, I was alarmed by how tight he gripped me. Len yanked me a couple of feet behind us to a slope of ground.

It took me a second of silence to understand why he did it. Not far behind, there was the shuffling of a hoard, a large group of walkers. We had our encounters with hoards before and the only way to say how we made it out was because of sheer luck. The most we had to take care of was probably 40 at once. By the quantity and way their groans were creeping closer, there were a lot more then 40 and they were coming in this direction.

“Len, we have to go before they see us.” I mouthed, sound barely slipping from my mouth. I could see his sapphire eyes calculating the risks and possible outcomes of dozens of decisions.

I didn’t have time for him to finish that thought. I stood up suddenly, not looking at Len to see him cursing me with his expression, and started to climb the closest tree. I heard Len hiss at me about how I lost my mind but I was too focus on putting on foot in front of the other, of keeping my hands climbing.

“Get up here Len!” I said through my hand beckoning up. Len put the machete, sheath and all, into his mouth as he made the climb. I could hear him wheezing around it. He finished the climb just as the hoard appeared in my line of vison. We froze in the trees. I was thankful it was the middle of summer and the trees were booming with leaves. The Walkers could see horribly but see nonetheless and it left their hearing to track down their meals.

I pressed a hand onto Len’s mouth, he was trying to calm down his breathing, but the trip up this a tree this high was enough to get anyone huffing and puffing. I observed and bore the rush of ice run down my spine as I saw 60 or more Walkers treading sluggishly through the woods in front of us. How could so many be here?

We stayed perched in the treetops 'til my legs grew numb from the squatting I was doing on the branch. Even after Len’s breathing returned to normal, the panic going through his body had him keep my hand on his mouth to quiet his panting. His hands gripped the machete in its sheath with such force, the skin over his knuckled stretched out to white.

It felt like hours pasted when they did at last. Days flashed forward until we couldn’t hear them hissing. I checked my sword at my side to make sure I could defend if I needed too. My hand fell from Len’s mouth, moist from his heavy breathing. Absentmindedly, I wiped it on my shirt. I was sweating rivers from every pore on my body.

“You’re crazy.” Len leaned back on the trunk, machete attached to his hand. “We could have died.” He intoned dramatically, trying to make me laugh.

I rolled my eyes, but chuckled too. I moved so that I could sit with my legs on either side of the branch and rested my palms on my knees to assure my racing heartbeat. “We didn’t though, you drama queen.” I declared arrogantly. He rolled his eyes that time, shaking his blonde mop slowly and suddenly looking extremely tired. The dark bags under his eyes looked to intensify in that second, driving me to hurry back and relax a smidge behind five locks and six inches of iron door.

The sun was dying above the trees and if we didn’t hurry, we would be walking back in the darkness, a task we haven’t done yet in these months and hoped not to do ever.

Those stories about monsters making their home in the darkness was true if a person didn’t know that black world.

Long complicated explanation cut short- we experienced the dark. But we didn’t understand it like dad did. We wouldn’t make it. A shared glance said that he was thinking the same. Len started his journey downward first then I took one last look around the woods from the height and followed him down.

“I’m glad set those dogs on us when he was teaching us how to climb.” I grunted as my feet touched the forest floor. Len grinned almost drunkenly, adrenaline from escaping the Walkers probably causing it.

“Let’s just go dipshit.” I laughed and took the lead hurrying back.

We jogged some 20 or so minutes until with the dim sunset’s light, we found the cabin.

We entered it silently and I locked the door swiftly in the cozy obscurity of our cabin. “You…you never answered me.” I asked what the fuck he was yapping about. “You flinched…” he panted from the long jog, “You never flinch.” I could make out the outline of how he leaned on one hand on the wall, looking at me with a questioning face.

The scandalous thought from early sprung up in my mind once again. I forced my face to stay nonchalant at the memory. “I was thinking about how your breath stunk when you kissed my check. When was the last time you brushed your teeth, boy? It was gross.” That was the stupidest lie to come from my mouth to date. Len knew that. He had to know I wasn’t telling the truth. But like the good person he was, he didn’t push. I would tell him when I was ready, he surely was thinking. So he could thought and let it go for the time being and come back to it later.

However, this fantasy was one that would go into the safe hidden deeply in my mind. I knew this while following Len downstairs. And as I laid on my side in bed, eyes closed, and feeling a tender flaw, I tried to persuade myself it couldn’t mean anything. I knew I was lying. I was lying so much I felt physically ill about how I was trying to make myself believe that- that-

The image of what I conjured up early was stamped behind my lids, reminding me the way I had put my mouth on Len’s. It was crazy. No, I _wanted_ it to feel crazy, but it was perfection.

Wrong. Wrong. _Wrong_.

I enclosed myself in a tiny ball, wanting to disappear along with my emotions.


	5. Even if it hurts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been in folder for a while, but here. Sorry if it's short. And I wanna dedicate this chapter to Prince-of-Money. Thanks for writing that amazing review. It brought my attention back to this fanfiction. I'm sorry for the super slow updates but I lose interest and get lazy. It's a bad combo for a writer. But this one if for you. I hope it you like it. 
> 
> And sorry for typos.

 

 

"The beginning of love is a horror of emptiness."

-Robert Bly

* * *

 

 

A couple of more months passed, with each day that came and went, my feelings continued to blossom steadily. The day that I  majorly fucked up on was none other than our birthday. 

The morning  of December 24 th  started off with t he different rout than usual. The usual routine consisted  of getting out of bed at the sound of Len’ s digital watch alarm, which was annoyingly ear-piercing.

I woke up first, sitting up in bed, beyond irritated at the _ beep  beep beep _ sounding off in the top bunk. I sneered and climbed on my bed so I could take a look at Len’s stupidly snoring face. I grabbed at his wrist, making him jerk at the touch and hit his head in the ceiling. I laughed loudly, getting a yelp from him for my efforts. 

“Rise and shine sleeping beauty!” I screamed into his ear. 

He groaned, trying to push me away from him. “ Rin …. Get the fuck away from me…”  He turned to face the wall, back at me to tell me even further to fuck off.  I pouted, faking a teary tone in my voice. 

“But baby bro,” I climbed into bed with him and  said in his ear gently, “how will you ever survive without me ?” I blew a raspberry on his ba r e  neck, and laughed when he flinched away. 

“ Rin !”

“Len!” I copied the whiney sound in his voice. I cuddled into his back, signing softly at the warmth. Ever since I noticed- no not noticed, I think I always knew they were  there- more like, accepted these feeling , I acted as normally as I could. Normal being teasing at every moment, bossy, and  deciding  the outcome of something without  discussing  it first. The first  and the second  one seemed to have become my trademark though.

Len’s back arched forward as he jumped. “ Rin ! Put on a bra! I- I  can f-feel \- your- your-”

“Boobs?” I inquired.

Len almost  screeched , “Yes your boobs!” I snorted at his  exaggeration . 

“Like you never felt them before.” I  reminded  him.

“We were 8 and playing doctor!” He  exclaimed  and I could see  tips  of his ears adorably red.  Snickering, I reached over him to gain excess at this  wrist  watch. With a single flicker, the obnoxious beeping is put to  an  end. 

Len went on stumbling over his words as I took note of the date his watch was saying. “Dec. 27. 2015.” I muttered, thinking what made that dates so special… Then suddenly, 

“Len!  It’s  our birthday!” I squealed girlishly  as can be and pounced on him  further . 

My brother was  caught  off  guard at this, this being my form on top of his, and the sentence that just came from my mouth. But a look at his watch made his eye s grow wide and then he started to laugh  along with me. His arm come around me and  I was  pressed to him, laughing.

“Happy birthday  Rin .” His arms felt like  columns  of iron keeping  me  in place as he said that. 

I wheezed out a happy birthday of my own. Len laughed even more and  finally  released me from his steel cage. “When did you get so buff?  I thought you stayed a scrawny 14 year old. ” I question with a scoff as I hopped back onto the ground. 

Len made a face at me, crossing his ey es and sticking out his tongue. “And when did you stay a 14 year old ?” He  patted his chest to explain what he meant. I hissed  at him, tossing a sock squarely at his face. 

“I meant it as a compliment idiot! Plus, I’m petite, loser. Boys happen to find that very attractive for your info.” I say but cross my arms over my chest, sore about what he said. Sure I was a b-cup and had little to no hips, but that didn’t mean it was an excuse for him to go pointing it out. But the words had no bite, I was grinning too much to look angry, and  I started to twirl around the room in my baggy sweatpants and sweater. 

I felt completely relaxed in my warm  pjs  in the cold air. 

“We’re 17 Lenny! Ah! I wonder what dad would say-” I stopped my sentence there, pausing mid-twirl to land my stare on the bathroom door. I heard Len climbing down the bunk at that point. His hand s  settled on my shoulders. 

“He’ s out there you know. ” Len said  quietly , “ He ’s probably  out there with Gumi and wishing he was here to continue the tradition of throwing ice water on us.” I nodded slowly. Yes. Dad, the monster himself, must be in Washington now, too busy trying to figure out this  fuckery  to send us a sign he was alright.

“What do you want to eat for breakfast? I’m cooking all day today.” 

He was trying to cheer me up and I was both moved by his effort and frustrated with myself for acting like this was just happening to me.  My eyebrow even twitched, a clear sign of my annoyance.  I moved away from his grasp to go look under the bed.

I slid out a box, the same one that held all book Len has read, and toss him a board game. 

Raising  a brow, Len held the game in his hand,  obviously  confused. “I’m not changing and you’re not either. We’re staying in all day to play that and whatever else is in here and we’re  gonna  eat  as much as we want. Stop gaping like a fish brat. We have more than enough food. So be fucking happy ,  g ot it?” I snapped with attitude. He groane d, a smile easing into his face,  and nodded. “That a boy.” I flipped my ye llow hair over a shoulder and went  to the bath room to slip on my bra.

After  I finished up  dressing, we  had the first meal of the day; pancakes made from the box we brought in a little before shit hit the fan. 

Most of the time, it was something we  had hunted the day before  mixed in with a li ttle from the food supply. W e tried to  stretch o ut that food as much we could, something made easy because we both hunted . 

We had no syrup  but Len  managed  to whip up some jam from the berries we had. It wasn’t very sweet because  we didn’t have any sugar either, so we  only went on the sweetness of the berries.  Another thing we had to exchange was what we would drink. We couldn’t spare any of the powdered milk to get a glass of milk so I boiled some lemon leaves to make s ome tea. Again with no sugar it was bitter, but it was better  than  nothing.

We squeezed next  to each other on my bed to eat . Len gloated that this was his finest meal so far and I thanked him for being such a sweet housewife.

Overall though, it was the best breakfast I had  even before we ended up here .

Afterwards, we played _ Sorry, Clue, Monopoly, Uno, Guess Who  _ as entertainment for  the next couple of hours until either  Len  or I, mostly me, got  tired  and made up some reason to  do something else .

Around 1  o’clock, Len went to work making lunch while I looked through the box to see what could be our next way of passing the time.  I gasped, pulling out some  regular poker cards, and thought  we could play lot of things with them. 

Lunch went just as great as breakfast did,  complete  with Len’s  original  meal of cooked dried rabbit and bird topped with berry jam and a small bit of cooked ham from the supply. We made more of that lemon tea and with that, we ate while playing poker, betting tiny mints I found in a tin can in the box of stuff.

I laid on the bed under the covers, stomach full and content. Len sat next to the bed, wrapped in his own bed covers, and cradling a book in his hands like it was a newborn. My fingers toyed with his long hair as I looked over his shoulder and read from a random paragraph every now and then. 

It was  an  old worn copy of the Brother Gri mm stories. He had just finished reading  Rapunzel  when I felt my eyes start to fall with sleep. 

In another moment I was gone  and  it was  only with the sensation of a  sandwich pressed against my lips did I  wake me up. I opened my mouth and took a bit with closed eyes. “A  handwith ?” I  mumbled  around the food in my mouth. 

 

Len shrugged saying something about how he ran out of ideas. It was alright for me though. I didn’t even know we had bread. Or cheese. 

Here we sat and ate in silence, Len’s wrist watch barely telling that it was 5. “The day went by fast.” I said. 

“You fell asleep.” He reminded me. 

“That  doesn’t  have anything to do with it!” 

He clicked his tongue. “Doesn’t it?” 

The way he said it had me thinking if it did. I frowned and told him to stop doing that. 

“Doing what?” He replied over the brim of his cup filled with tea.

“That! Acting like  you’re clueless !” 

“I’m acting clueless? Right now?  About what?”

That left my mouth open, sandwich  half-finished  in my hand. “Yes you are! Right now- about- about… shit- oh yeah about if me sleeping had  anything  to do with it!” 

“To do with what?”  

“With… with, uh, sleeping made the day go faster! HA!” I shouted. Len  shrugged . 

“If that’s what you think  Rin .”

I paused and finished eating. “What the hell Len.” 

He chuckled  darkly  and just to spite him, I took a big bite from his  sandwich . 

This nerd was a pain in the ass, b ut I loved him.  I loved him… 

After another around of poker and yet another cup of tea, I waddled to the bathroom to take care of business. As I was washing my hands I heard Len call my name, sounding  panick ed . I  practically torn down the door , flushed and  breathless , readying to kill with my bare hands.

Turns out,  Len found a pair of scissors and decided it was time for a haircut for the two of us.  Grinning at the appeal of doing something new,  I willingly sat down on one of the tiny beds. My first mistake. 

The fool acted like he never touched a pair of scissors in his life and what was once the hai r almost stretching to my back , was left at a choppy chin length. The length was alright. I had it that way 80 percent of the time when I was a kid, but  what had him stepping on my nerves was some of the locks left in  uneven chucks. 

So it was only fair that I messed up his hair too. I snatched the blades from his, ignoring the sarcastic apologizes then the panicking grunts as I managed to pin by sitting on his back and grabbing ahold of his long ponytail. 

“If I’m getting short hair so are you, you asshole!” I cried in triumph and snapped the knives together right above the hairband. I heard Len gasped,  obviously  begging to sound like  the biggest drama queen I have eve r heard. Which was saying a lot.  I did go to school with  Miku Hatsune  after all.

Though i t was pretty understandable, ‘cause all of a sudden, I was left holding a detached foot long blonde mane. I stared at it, frozen, and fell  back onto the wooden floor with  the force of choking laughter atta cking  me in the gut.  “Oh my God! Oh-,” I cackled, tears gathering at the corner of my eyes. I waved the long piece of hair in front of my face  like a captured flag at war time . Victory was mine! 

From the corner of my eye, I spotted my counterpart sit up  wearily , hands moving to run over the newly cut hair. It wasn’t short, it still was long for an average Joe. But Len wasn’t anything resembling average. 

His hair was  still  longer than mine, just hitting his broad shoulder s . “ Rin . You bitch.”  Len said calmly.

I squealed, throwing the tied hair at him, trying to move in the crapped space between the bunks beds and wood stove. His hands came at me and we wrestled for a bit, until, with the help from God  I’m sure, he pinned my hands  on each side of my head  and  forced down my  legs with his own. 

I continued to struggle until he pressed himself closer to me, until we were chest to chest and I could feel the hard muscle of his stomach through his thin shirt.  I felt the way his body fit in perfectly with mine and at once, I remembered the feelings I discovered months ago. Since then I even had a dream about a darkened room, sweet nothings whispered in my ear, the caress of something beautiful and new, and blue eyes watching me as I feel apart in his arms . I woke up from that dress  drenched in sweat even though  it had been freezing in the basement.

My giggles subsided when th is happened, and my eyes met his , quickly seeing his own realizations occurring in the azure hue.  It felt like someone had thrown hot oil into the fire of my blood because I felt every one of my senses go into overdrive.

Begging my body not to react , I licked  my dried lips out of nervousness, however my hips betrayed me, jerking unintentionall y when my heart became to race. The place in between my legs grew wet at the impact it took with Len’s cock. My mouth fell open and a whine slipped out at the heat racing through my  womanhood . 

Oh my God.

I shut my eyes tight, moving my head away from his face. I didn’t want to see him recoil in  disgust . Why did that happen?  Rin  you stupid fool. Why did you do that?! I wanted to  punch myself in the face for doing that , and so to keep the  thick  lump in my throat from moving up and crying out, I torn into my tongue. Shut up. Shut up. Shut up. 

Ok here was the moment  where Len would pull away, disgusted and forever to look at me with horrified eyes. I could lie, good this time, and tell him it was an accident. Only an accident. I saw myself laughing with a blush and brushing off the whole scene all while Len wrinkled his nose and went on to pretend it never happened.

However, to my utter astonishment and disbelief, a strained groan pasted by his lips. My eyes snapped opened, first my ears focusing on  that sound, then my eyes shifting  on his mouth. Never had I been so intrigued by lips before him. There I noticed his bottom lip was slight fuller then his upper one. I wondered in the back of my mind if that was supposed to be a weak imitation of my own. 

I shifted my hips again, needing,  longing , wanting to hear his voice like that again. 

When it did, louder and more wanton then the previous time, I let myself hope. There, in a place I never let anyone else touch before, my lust gathered. A fierce feeling filled my chest and I never wanted to kiss anyone more than I did then. I wanted him to feel what I did. He needed to know how much I -

“ Rin …” Len  sighed over my lips , overflowing with nothing I could describe expect as pure, undeniable love . I closed my eyes again, memorized in the way  he said it, like a delicate  prayer. Like person who at las t found their soulmate. I was entranced by his hot  breath on my mouth, so close were  his lips on mine . Almost  like I had been dreaming about and longing for.

This time  it was his hips rolling  over mine again, harder than before,  and we  gasped for air . His grip on my hands  tightened  as he slid a leg in between  my  own, giving me a place to rub against just as he had one.  I could feel his erection on my thigh and I suppressed an inhale in my shock. 

Ok… that  defiantly  never happened before.  

We moved in sync against each other, moaning and panting each other’s names in both lust and worship.  One of h is hand s  slid up the  curves  of my body, making sure to feel  everything  he could, and when he finally got to my breast, his fingers gently touched the underside, driving me to moan, nearly in tears because he wasn’t touching me nearly as much as I needed him to touch, “ Len- ”

But in a flutter of a n  eye, it was over. Len jolted back,  letting the cool air hit my hot  body.  “I- I can’t,” he whispered  again , yet instead of the  fragile  way he caressed my name, he sounded  terrified .  He stood abruptly, backing away from my form on the ground.  “ Rin … We’ve been locked in here for too long. This- This is wrong. Come on  Rinny , don’t make that face. We’re twins for fuck’s sake.  You’re my  sister . ” He laugh ed a hollow quivering laugh. His words crushed my heart in his palms. 

But instead of a sadness defining my being, I felt nothing but confusion  mixed in  with  hot red rage . Both  were  aimed at me for letting  what happened  get this far and at him for  saying those things only after he felt touched me like that. My lips came together in a thin  tight line.

He ran his hand through his newly short hair, hair I was sure would be messier if I had gotten the chance to run my finger s  through it. His blue eyes looked anywhere but where I was on the ground. Len’s face was tinted red and he looked confused. “Let’s- let’s- It was a mistake  Rin . We- We’re both hormonal teenagers and we’re closer than your normal pair of siblings and this fucking hell we’re in, it- it messed us up. We-”

“Do  not  tell me you touched me like that  because  you were horny.”  I emitted my broken heart into the words. “The way you said my name wasn’t a ‘hormona l teenager’ wanting to get off…  We aren’t messed up Len. I feel-”

Len stepped away, hands coming in front of him, telling me to stop talking.  “ Rin  are you hearing yourself? You’re my sister! This is beyond wrong,  it’s  sick,” Len argued with me, his voice growing in volume with each passing word, as if he was trying to convince himself as well as me, “I didn’t mean to  touch  you like that  Rin . I haven’t  touched a girl in so long. I f- if I could  take it back I would.” His voi ce withered there. “I’m pent up that’s it, it was in the heat of the moment.  I wouldn’t do it again.” 

I almost laughed out loud at that point.  Heat of the moment. That prissy line sounded like something straight form a fucking chick-flick movie.

Usually it was Len being the calm one and me freaking out. I wanted t o grab him by the shoulder and shake him like a ragdoll, because I’m sure that someone  doesn’t  dry hump  their sister  cause  they’re sexually  frustrated . I knew,  knew , that if there was a third sister with us,  h e wouldn’t have said her name like he said mine. Len wouldn’t have touched her.  He wouldn’t hav e done anything at all. Len reacted like he did only because it was me.  I knew  that  from the bottom of my heart.

“So if it happens again, does that mean you wanted me because it’s me or because you needed to screw something so badly you just didn’t care what it was?” I asked, the sound of my tone eerily steady.

“Don’t be ridiculous  Rin . I-I wouldn’t do  anything ! Just stop,” Len was almost shouting at that point. “Let’ s forget  thi - ,”  I stood up  unexpectedly ,  and watched his expression;  the widening of his  eyes , the red in his checks, and the  soft glare his yellow hair had in the dim light, and reached out my hands to hold  his face. The action happened in a heartbeat, but the seconds move at a snail's pace in my eyes. 

My eye lids  lowered slightly ,  but stayed open enough  to watch his expression as I pulled him  toward  me . I  brought our lips together in a soft collision of clashing emotions . It was  gentle and warm. It wasn’t like the kisses from before; not the slip up, or the one trying to calm him- this one was selfish and overflowing with everything inside of my heart. It was stupid, however, at that moment, stupid is all I wanted to be. 

It didn’t last a few second like all of our previous kisses had. This time, I remained where I was, finding bliss in this little kiss. Our real first kiss. 

At once, after the warmth exploding inside of my chest, I realized that Len wasn’t pushing me away. He stayed still , with eyes closed to keep me from sight,  as I pressed my lips t o his, frozen and unresponsive. I felt my heart wither away into oblivion . When still  he didn’t move, I slowly pulled away , tears forming in my blue eyes  and a throbbing in my soul. 

That exact second,  he  moved. 

Len reached a hand up and touched the crock of my elbow, soft like with curling fingers around my arm. I saw his eyes move slightly behind closed  lids as he followed my mouth when  I  had started  to leave his. He kissed me first  that time . 

I stroked my thumb on his check lightly. My mouth felt tingly just as his tongue slipped from his mouth , tracing the length of my mine  almost shyly for permission to enter. When I parted my  lips, his fingers immediately tightened on my elbow, and he pulled m e from him roughly. “ Rin \- I- I- We  can’t.” Len gasped, letting me go and  treading  backward s . 

My jaw closed with a clunk of my teeth and I stared at him torment.  “Len,  please -” He shook his head, eyes burning i n a way that looked like it hurt . 

“Stop  Rin . Just stop. Please.”  He can’t just… 

Len  turned his back on me and the sight was worse than the first time I saw a Walker. He  stepped again further away from me, appearing ready to walk  up the stairs, to the outside. My tears from earlier resurfaced again and I started to  panic, a  horror  so strong and piercing, it knocked the air from my lungs. I gasped for air then began to  cry, surely an ugly blotchy red-faced mess. “L-Len don’t go!” I almost sobbed. Oh God. I couldn’t have him leave me. No. Not for this. Not for this. My heart wasn’t worth seeing him gone. “Len!” I hiccuped  loudly, clinging t o the bedpost.  It felt like someone was ripping off my leg with a rusty knife. 

“I’m going to read a book upstairs.” That was all the  explanation  he gave before  ascending  up the stairs. I faintly heard the creaking of the desk chair and I  stood there, tears racing  down my checks, praying not to hear the door open. 

It didn’t and  yet  more I cried, half in happiness that he hadn’t left me. And half in the name of my shattered heart rotting away in my rib-cage.

Happy fucking birthday to  me .


	6. Let's pretend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updated the tags... Be prepared. That M rating just wasn't for "unrequited" incest. That is all. Thanks for reading. Leave me something please. Anything.Yeah thanks.

“Give me just enough information so that I can lie convincingly.” - Stephan King

* * *

 

We passed New Year’s quietly. As family tradition, we gave each other a present on the 1th  of 2017- he gave me burettes to keep my bangs from falling into my eyes. I wondered how he managed to get them. It wasn’t a thing he could make from nature for fuck’s sakes. I loved them nonetheless and gave him a gift I had started on a while back.

Even though he kept his words few and curt to me, whenever I came up the stairs, I would see the small wooden bunny that had taken me some weeks to carve. It almost made me hope things could move on from what happened on our birthday. No such luck. Simply because fate, destiny, fortune- whatever- hated my guts with a passion.

Fuck my life.

Len kept to himself upstairs, probably reading those stupid survival and medical books. He hardly came down to the living quarters until it was to go to the bathroom and shower. He had taken his bag and enough food and water up there so he wouldn’t have to come see me. He even slept up there. In the chair or on the floor, I don’t know, but it bothered me to no end.

Some days, the Walkers came to close to the cabin, namely the windows, and lingered about for a bit if there was nothing distracting them. Usually they would move away, but I felt like an animal in a glass cage watching them bump into the windows. The thought of Len sleeping up there when a bump at the window occurred in the night had me tossing in the dark.

But of course he didn’t say anything about it, the idiot. It made me mad when I knew I had no right to be.

After a few words spoken on New Year’s, I mostly passed my time doing anything to keep my mind from wondering to the horrors in my life. Horrors being Dad, Len, and yeah, the dead guy trying to bit my head off. I played lots of solitary and listening to Len tinker with the radio upstairs. Every second the static kept goin’ was a fatal blow to my nerves. Yet I forced myself not to run upstairs and rip apart the stupid radio then punch Len in the face.

As much as almost every atom of my being wanted to do that, I didn’t. It wasn’t every day that your twin sister made a move on you and confessed her love. I tried to see things his way. However, I was lost about his feelings about me.

Was he suppressing his feelings or was it all a beautiful illusion to me? Either way, I knew I was screwed.

One terrible month passed like that, with Len staying away from me, while I was left to my own thoughts. The horrible products of that last one added to the things keeping me from sleeping at night.

A day somewhere early February left a knot in my back and a twitch in my eye.

It was almost a year since we had come here, since the world gone to shit, and the food from the supply was out. There was nothing left. I checked once, twice, and by the fourth time, I even called Len down from his solitude to make sure for himself.

The food supply was located under a trapdoor basically. We kept the tiny nightstand atop the hatch on the floor that lead to the food. He reached inside and felt around for a few minutes until his arms retreated. Len looked blankly at the empty space and cussed softly. I understood why. Dad had said it was supposed to last us a year. We still had a month before that and we already ran out of food.

It must’ve been the things we ate on our birthday.  

And to make matters worse, the things we had gathered and hunted were running dangerously low. Low enough that it would be a miracle if it lasted another three days. We needed to go out and hunt desperately. Being February, winter still had a good grip on the outside. Winters in Alabama weren’t as bad as some of the ones Northerners get, but it was still really cold. Wind had started up lately, only adding to the serious chill outside.

In other words- winter made everything harder to do.

I looked at Len for the first time since he came down, it was my first time seeing him with me this long, and I was startled by what I saw. He had his usually soft-looking blonde hair tied up was limp and dull in a stubby ponytail. The bags he had under his eyes had grown to dark circles around his eyes. He was several shades too pale to be healthy and his hands shook slightly when he made to stand up.

I continued to gawp at him. He looked like he needed to sleep and eat more than I did. I knew how I looked like. The small compact in the bathroom told me that much, but how could I have let him get like this? I should’ve made him sleep down here, made sure he was eating better, and not let what happened come between us going out together to hunt. But like an irresponsible kid, I let my awkwardness take over and keep me from taking care of him.

“You can’t go out.” I stated at once when he looked ready to speak.

He scoffed, meeting my eyes for a few seconds before looking elsewhere. “You can’t go out by yourself. We already went through this. Plus,” Len refocused his gaze on me, “you don’t look so good yourself.” Ouch. Looked like the compact in the bathroom was a liar.

Sure, I saw the puffiness in my eyes that refused to leave, the slight discoloration in my face, and a sadness overtaking my shape, but that was reasonable. I still felt like I could take down a deer. “You obviously haven’t taken a look in the mirror banana brains, because you sir, look like shit.” I shot back.

Len closed the trapdoor with his foot and looked back at me. “Typical Rin thinking she can do every little thing herself. Newsflash, you can’t. Get over yourself already,” he said annoyed.

I resisted to smack him in the neck. “I’m the older one! It’s my job to take care-”

“No it’s not Rin! You don’t have to take care of me. I can do it perfectly well and I can help you too.”

“Ha! Help me? You look like a guy on his deathbed! Pathetic! So sit down princess and listen to me-”

Len took a step forward and grabbed the front of my shirt, hitting me with the Dad stare, “You want to hear pathetic? You look like a chick who just got dumped.” I blinked slowly as the words left his mouth. It only took a second for the words to connect to my brain and force my brows to stitch together. I brought my knee down hard on him in the gut, grunting as I did so and hissing when he doubled over.

“Then why do you look like the asshole who regrets doing the dumping?!” I screamed at him. Len withered on the floors, clutching his wounded stomach but stayed as still as he could, keepin’ the moaning a minimum. “So don’t try to pick on me because I promise you, I will win, and think about how we’re gonna live instead of my lost love life!” There. That was all I needed to say to him at that moment. I couldn’t think of what else to tell him.

Len sat up slowly, letting out airy pants, eyes finally moving up and catching mine in a deathly calm stare. “Okay… You win Rin. You win and I’ll forget everything. I hope that’ll make you happy, but if you’re so focused on surviving, then you need to remember you can’t run as fast as before.”

Here I stiffened, knowing he was right. Ever since I stabbed myself in that first Walker attack all those months ago, my leg had a limp in it. If I pushed myself, I could still jump and climb as normal, I even forced myself to forget about it sometimes, but my running… I could only stand running my normal speed for a minute before getting a crank in my muscle that would make my leg feel like lead.

I was a liability and he knew it. There were more Walkers coming into the forest and I wouldn’t be able to run to far without something getting me and making me it’s snack.

“Two people are better than one and you know it. We each need to cover our backs and this is the safest way for both of us. I’ll just be extra careful, like I’ve always been and concentrate more. I can do this.” Yea, I was confident I could.

“Rin….” He sounded beyond exhausted. I could relate, the emotion had nested in our brains months ago and was making us its bottom bitch. “I’ve been outside once before by myself-”

“Where you almost got killed cause there was no one there to help you when you came across that swarm! We both have a disadvantage here and you’re the smart one but even a dumbass like me can see it works out better in our favor if we do this together.” And forget about what happened…. Even if it burns me to just… pretend.

 He intently looked at me. I kept my eyes on his, allowing him to read me clearly and have him understand what I meant was my complete truth. Then his gaze blurred, mind probably thinking on the outcomes to this, and saw I was right. “Get ready then.” Len stood up and already started to drift to the stairway, shoulders slouched.

After he disappeared upstairs and the sound of the tinkering radio began along with the clatter of rummaging through the weapons, I bit down on my lip. I wouldn’t cry. No. I couldn’t cry. But was this is it? Just forget what I said? Just forget how much I love….

I shook my head roughly, practically getting whiplash from it. I needed to take my own damn advice and focus on surviving this hell and not weep over my tragic romance with my twin brother. We needed to live and nothing else. Nothing else.

I quickly stripped and slipped into my usual clothes, finding my sword holster and tying the belt-like thing around my hips. God. I’ve have been acting like a girl who just got dumped: wearing my pjs at all times, too scared to go upstairs in fear of seeing him, chanting mantras too myself about how everything was going to be fine. I only needed the smear of mascara down my cheeks to complete this pitiful display.

Fuck my life.

I grabbed Bunny from besides the bunk bed, sliding the sword through the loop of the hostler and forced the thick combat boots onto my feet. After I was done shoving the bottom cuffs of my jeans into the boots, I stood, threw on my bag and wondered over to the stairs. I hesitated slightly, lips pinching down at what this meant-- putting away years of adoration and love for Len.

But like I said, I needed to take my own advice. And with that, I walked up the stairs and met Len’s figure staring out the tinted windows. He looked already to go in a similar outfit and a shotgun strapped to his back, a long knife in a thigh hostler, and another handgun with a silencer at his hip. We were already to go.

I stepped next to him and peered out the window, at seeing nothing, it suddenly hit me that neither of us has stepped outside in almost 2 months. No wonder we were going crazy and getting pissy. If you keep the same two people cooped up in the same place doing the same things, something snaps. Since I beat Len to the ground, I guessed that was it.

Len didn’t acknowledge me as we stepped out, locked the doors and set out to hunt for food.

 

*

 

Plunging the sword into its brain (looked like it was once a farmer) I grunted and slammed my body into its own. My breath became a physical thing in front of my mouth. Shit, it was hella cold out here. We’re should’ve grabbed some more jackets to throw over the ones we had on.

I looked around and saw two more of these things moping around. Len was beating down on of them right then and I wondered my gaze around to see the one left over for. Ew… These things were getting softer and grosser lookin’ every time I saw them. Maybe it had something to do with decomposing or some shit they yapped to us during school.

School.

I kicked another square in the chest and watched it fall onto an array of large rocks, decorating them with the black-red of spoiled blood. Yuck. It still groaned struggled to get up again when Len slam his foot right on the things head, an exposition of brain matter and thick blood spattering everywhere.

The thought of school hadn’t entered my brain in forever. I was never one to give a rat’s ass about it before. Len was the more studious of us two, but I wondered… How many died? How many of my stupid classmates actually got turned, or bite the bullet to try to escape that fate? Maybe some of them made it and are wondering around these woods… They might’ve made it the first couple of months. Most people in our town knew how to hunt and live on the land… But they couldn’t survive almost a full year with those skills alone.

Len dug his knife in the head of another, shoving it away then going for the last Walker. It was over in a blink. These things were just as dangerous as when I first saw him, I get nightmares about them fuckers, but I think I was supposed to feel something about killing so easily now. I didn’t feel anything. Was there something wrong with me?

_Grrraahhhhh_

“Rin!” I snapped away from my thoughts, leaping away from my spot, towards Len and fell to his bloody feet just as I head the swoosh of something flying over my head. It silenced the hissing noise at once and I panted, noting my empty hands and glanced over my shoulder to see Bunny laying next to the Walker with a knife sticking into its forehead.

I breathed heavily through my nose, trying to control my panting and rested my head on Len’s sticky blood covered boot.

“What the hell was that, dofus?!” Len said brashly. He reached down and pulled me up by the arm like I was a ragdoll being plucked from the floor. “What happened to Rule number 2 and 3?! Never let your guard down and always be aware of your surroundings?! Are you trying to get yourself killed?!” He shook me as he spoke, voice cracking, and then his arms were around me, holding on tightly like I would run is he didn’t. “Can you just _think_ for once?”

My bag stuffed full with berries and edible leafs was squished between us, and I lifted my hands to grab the back of his shirt, feeling both the unused shotgun and four squirrels and bird Len had strapped there.

“I- I just wasn’t- I didn’t mea-”

“You never think and I hate it. If you die, I will too.” My mouth felt dry.

“Le-”

Yet just when my guard lowered again, there were voices. Not inaudible babble, but actual words forming intelligent sentences. We pulled away from one another and looked around frantically to see where the sounds were coming from, from whom. Len grabbed a hold of my hand and looked around frantically for a place to hide. But there was none. The trees were bare of leaves, if whoever looked up, they would see us, there were no bushes to be seen with enough coverage, and if we ran, our footsteps on the iced grass would be telling them we were ready for looting and a beating. What if we led them to Safe House 1? No… unthinkable. We can fight but, now? Against real people? What- The voices were louder now, closer. Oh God.

I heard Len’s silent gasp of surprise, acting out the act I suppressed to do. He was just as scared as I was.

Then he did something crazy.

In a blink, Len started to take off all of his weapons, all of the kills and the bag, throwing them into the skeleton of a large bush, tossing dead leaves and grass over them. When he held out his hand for my sword, I knew I didn’t have time to protest whatever he had in mind. I trusted him. Soon he did the same to my sword and crawled over to the Walkers. Using the blood on them, he begun to smear it all over his face and that’s when I understood.

I fell onto my knees next to him and rubbed all the gunk of blood and other body fluids on myself. After I was done, it looked like I was in a death battle. Outta the corner of my eye, I saw Len thickly smudge dark liquid on his throat.

We dropped down to the floor, lying in random positions. I was on my side next to the corpse Len had stomped on. My bangs ran over my eyes, hiding everything but a slit from my peekin’ eyes. I forced my breathing to calm and kept the tremble from my outstretched arms. I could barely make out Len laying on his front, one hand holding onto a random bloodied rock.

Voices. Closer. _There_!


	7. I Am Man

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Super short chapter, but I wanted this out, so here you guys go! I mentioned last chapter to look at tags, and yeah. Do that again. There's one of those things in the chapter. 
> 
> Sorry for typos.

"Everyone carries around his own monster." -- Richard Pryor

* * *

 

There were two- no three, a man and two different women- distinct voices carried out to our ears. “I cannot believe that damn redneck fucking cut up my face. I hope the fucker bleed out somewhere and got the bite from the dead.” The man’s voice was gruff, fury oozing from each word he said. His accent told me he wasn’t from the south.

The people’s voices weren’t moving away, they seemed like they were getting closer. Judging from the straight path their voices were going, they were looking for a way out of the woods. My bones froze and I wasn’t sure if it was because of the cold ground or the fear.

“That little bitch he was with was the one asking for it if you ask me, Al. I wouldn’t have minded getting some of that ass though,” a woman screeched, voice sounding like a smoker.

“Hell yea she was. Too bad the gun she pointed at us said she didn’t want to play. _Tsk_ , I think I still got blue balls from that bitch. Whatever. Ann, how much further? I’m sick of this fucking forest.”

A wrinkling of papers followed by the second women chirping out in a sickly sweet voice, “Oh I don’t know honey. At least another two days before we reach that that town I was telling you about. Cypress? Cryo? Oh I don’t know, hon.” Now there was a Texan accent if I ever heard one.

“Two fucking days?!” There was a pause. “Fucking hillbilly state is this. Ann! Get over here women, I need to fuck something.”

Closer. They were a few yards away. I shut my eyes tightly, wondering if Len could hear my heartbeat, probably not since I couldn’t hear his, but I know he was feeling the same as me. The fear of what might happen to us...

Then things got from bad to worse. I heard a gurgling groan of a Walker stumbling into the area we were in.

I stiffened to the point where my back felt like it was going to snap in two. It wondered around and I thought we were in a lose-lose situation. If we stayed still to avoid these people, this thing would attack. If we finished it now, who knew what these people would do? Three against two, and people who lived this long stayed alive for a reason. They knew how to kill.

I stared at Len to see what he would do, but he stayed still as the dead. I swallowed down the bile in the back of my throat as the thing stepped near my head and I thought, Fuck this, I’ll kill this thing and fight with all I got against these rudeass f- But Len’s words echoed in my head. _If you die, I will to._ And I knew I couldn’t do that.

“Ahhh… Al I want to join in!”

“Quiet Miki, you stupid bitch. Watch out for any dead while Ann gets me taken care of.”

“Fuck you too Al, hmm.”

The noises of flesh hitting each moved through the area and it took me a moment to realize they were actually having sex out in the middle of all of this. Then the panting and moaning began and I wanted to gag in disgust. These people weren’t normal. There had to be some kinda rule against having sex in the woods during a zombie apocalypse. Looks like morals went down the drain when society did.

Hypocritical of me? Maybe but seriously-

“Ahh- _ah-ah! Al_ ….. Moooreeee! Arg- _argh_!”  The women with the Texan accent, Ann, practically screamed. Al grunted just as loud and the slapping of their bodies continued.

I wanted to throw up. This was so wrong.

As their words rang out in the air, a thought slapped me in the face. It’s been at least 7-10 minutes and the thing wasn’t attacking. I glanced at it through the slit my hair allowed me to see. It moved, snapping its jaw, around Len’s body to follow the voices. It ignored us completely. What? What was going?

“Oh! Oh! Ann! Al! Look at what I found!”My eyes flew completely shut. The other women called out to her companions, but as they seemed to be busy, she got no response expect more moaning and dirty talk. I heard her walked up to the Walker, its staggering footsteps and inhumane sounds apparent that it was close to her, and then the distinct sound of a gun with a silencer shot. The Walker’s mumblings stopped once the body hit the ground.

I could hear her footsteps coming towards us, muttering under her breath. “Oohhhh…” I heard clearly as the footsteps stopped at my head. There was a god-awful cry and nothing as Al and Ann finished up their creepy fucking.

“W-what where you barking about Miki?” The man’s voice was thick and breathy from his screw. “Ahh… nice. Got anything on them?” I felt hands toss me onto my back and search my sides. 

“Naw, nothing.”

“Great. Check the guy.”

The hands left me and there was a heavy sign from Al. “Damn, they were pretty, would’ve made a good fuck.”

“Al… you just had your fill of me and you go on and talk about sleepin’ with someone else? I am a lady and demand the respect of one, mister.” Voice like melted sugar even after the sex. Ann. A rustle of skirts. No way was she wearing a skirt during all of this, during this time of the year. But I didn’t risk peeping.

“Yeah, yeah, Ann. Sorry.” Al crunched next to me, meaty hands coming to my sides to search me again- or least I thought so before fingers squeezed my boob harshly. The scream of fury was pushed to the bottom of my lungs. No. Don’t do nothing. If you do…. I shut out the feeling of his hand. Imma fucking stick my sword in his dick and see if he still feels like feeling up ‘dead’ chicks.

As vomit inducing as this was, he wasn’t the first to grope me. The jackasses back in Crypton thought it was a swell idea before I broke two arms and a wrist.

“ _Hhm_!” A pause. His hand moved, thank God. “Recent kill. The blood on the ground and on the boy is still wet…. They _were_ real pretty lookin’, Al. Oh the boy would’ve made a might fun treat.” Ann must’ve been near Len from the distance her voice came from.

Miki giggled (I thought it was her from the rough texture of it), whispering out loudly, “Bet you we could’ve made junior cum in a minute by just watching us,” a sound of hand moving skirts  and heard Ann let out a dramatic gasp, then moan.

Oh my fucking-

But then there was a weird sound. Like a zipper. Was that Miki? It couldn’t be Al. He was right next to me. The zipper was by the women and Len. Miki’s hum was between a giggle and jeer as another sound joined the rest. One of the noises was of something wet, obviously the scissoring going on, yet the other one… it was like the when Al and Ann were going it on a moment ago. A flesh on flesh slapping tone…. What the hell was going on?

Al all but exploded with laughter. “Miki are you that sex deprived you need to be jerking that dead guy’s cock? Hahahaa! You kinky bitch!”

No ** _._** _No **! Bitch**_. That **_bitch!_** I’ll kill her… **_I’ll kill her if it’s the last thing I do on this hell-_**

“Na, na, na. Now Miki, we ain’t got the time for this now… we can get to that town and then all three of us can play.”

All the sounds stopped. I couldn’t see her, but from her tone of voice, Miki was sulking. Fucking son of a bitch.

“Let’s get moving, I ain’t wanna be here when it gets dark.” Ann was the first to move and start on her way, followed by Al, and then-

“Shouldn’t we stick a knife in their heads, Ann? They gonna turn any moment now,” Miki explained.

Oh fuck. No. No…. Congrats, you piece of shit, I never **_hated_** anyone more than I do you.

“Always so blood thirsty Miki. Just leave them babies there. I wanna get to the town as soon as I can, so stop making us wait! I need to take a bath! It’s been since the capital since I had one.”

Miki whimpered followed by Al’s deep cackles.

Their laughing voices faded away once more until there were only the occasional sounds of an animal skirting around the dead trees. There was a rustle over by Len and I picked up the effort to open my eyes to inspect the area as I sat up.

Gasping, I crawled over with lightning speed to my twin, lungs ready to fall out, and reached him as he barely started to sit up. “Len!” I uttered. He looked around blankly, face paler than it should be. The semicircles under his blue eyes looked pitched, and that combined with the smears of now-drying blood, he really did look dead. My hand was already reaching for him. “Len? Please look at me! Did she hurt-”

A husky laugh was drawn from his throat, shocking me and freezing my hand in air. “Oh my God… What kinda people…” He pushed a trembling hand through his dull hair, another laugh escaped him. But as he went on, the giggles turned to soft weeping. “She… was r-rubbi- Oh God… she-” He pushed himself away from me, hiding his crying face in his hands so I wouldn’t see. “I’m a man… I-I shouldn’t car- ah- ah… I sh-shouldn’t…but…  I didn’t- I didn’t… What if I got big while sh-she was r-rubbing my- She would’ve known… I could’ve gotten us- … Arh…” His shoulder arched in even more, body balling up to get away. The cries from him left his whole body shaking.

I watched him, hand stilled in the air. I licked at my chapped lip, hand moving slowly to touch his shoulder. “Len… I’ll kill her… I promise! It’s ok! I can make all of this ok. We’re both alive. We- as long as we’re together-”

“Don’t fucking touch me!” Len screamed. He curled away from me, eyes stuck on my hands and to me horror, his gaze… was petrified of me.

I had never seen him  look anything close to this. Not the first time we killed a Walker, not the time I almost bleed to death, not the time he barely escaped his own death… This was pure hell sprawled across his face. The blue of his eyes changed. Len was changing before my eyes.

I could barely get any words out of my throbbing throat. “I- I’m not going to hurt you! Len! It’s me! Rin! Rinny…” I made a move towards him, and Len, my best friend, slapped me.

The force of it tossed my head to the side. There was the fierce taste of metallic texture in my mouth and with a quivering hand; I touched the side of my face. My nose was bleeding and I has also bit the inside of my mouth.

For a moment, Len looked in shock. He stared at his hand, still raised. His pale lips opened and closed, small croaks creeping up from him, but he didn’t say anything. Len gasped, it was like someone sucked all of the air from his lungs.

More tears drew up in his eyes; they fell like crystals down his white cheeks. He tried to say something, but I never heard it. It clogged up in his mouth too much. His hand withdrew into his chest, his other hand clutching it as he bent in half, his blonde hair staining the dirty cold forest floor.

He continued to cry. Unlike all the other times before, I didn’t know how to comfort him.

Our relationship broke at that moment. It fell apart and all of the pieces were too hard to put back together. I sat there, dried blood on my body, fresh blood on my face, and heartbeat paused within my chest as he sobbed into his hands.

He knew what was lost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had to wash my hands with hot water after this chapter was written. I hurt my children too much. But I do it outta love. Thoughts?

**Author's Note:**

> I am scared to death of zombies. So I decided to write about a Vocaloid Walking Dead AU. I don’t know how well people will like this, but I thought it was a good idea.  
> I don’t own the Vocaloid or the Walking Dead.
> 
> COMMENT THO CAUSE I LOVE HEARING WHAT YOU GUESS THINK. TALK TO MEEEE
> 
> Leave me kudos, bookmarks, subscribe, comments, whatever, just something to tell me how this is. And lol, I won't post the next chapter until I get at least 8-10 kudos on this chapters. Enjoy.


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